Just added “Play a role in a Christmas movie” to my bucket list.
My fantasy team failed me and I didn’t make the playoffs. I’m feeling ambitious. Goals for this weekend.
1.Put up tree and decorate.
2.Finish Christmas shopping.
3.Find a tan peacoat.
4.Up my scarf game.
5.Write at least 50 pages.
6.Try my hand at baking Christmas cookies.
- kindlyunspoken94 said: If you could live anywhere. Where would you be?
If I was set financially and had my choice of anywhere…Oro Valley, AZ. I absolutely love it there.
OK, so I’m working on turning this thing around. I’ve been a pissy, whiney ass hole for a couple weeks. The “woe is me” bullshit is done. Here’s what I know.
Somewhere there is a family with nowhere to go on a freezing cold night.
Someone’s wife/mother/sister/brother/uncle/grandpa/daughter died today and the people affected will never be the same.
Somewhere in the world a child died of hunger tonight.
I could go on and on. The world is full of horrible, heartbreaking things. Every single one of us has SOMETHING to be thankful for. Many of us have countless things to be thankful for. I’m guilty of losing site of that on many occasions and I’m truly very regretful of that. I’m an overly emotional person and I let things escalate in my mind without taking a moment to look at the big picture. I’m working on that with the help of a couple people who are like angels in my life.
I have A LOT to be thankful for. I have a crazy, screwed up family that loves me. I have insanely loyal friends who make every single day a gift. I have the cutest damn English bulldog who lights up my life and loves me unconditionally. I have a handful of people who believe in me and my writing. I have an apartment, a car, and a job. There’s food in my refrigerator. My lights and heat are on. I have cable and internet. I’m healthy. I have all these things that so many people don’t. I’m lucky. Sometimes I feel like everything is falling apart and that the whole word is against me, but the reality is that I’m very lucky and when things seem dark I need to take a moment and remember all of these things. Hell, even if I remember ONE of these things I can make it through the bad moments.
I don’t want to be someone who is all doom and gloom. I want people to be able to relate to me and my words, but not because I’m a negative, grumpy person. I want to shine a light on this world. Someday I will do something to leave my mark and my legacy and I want it to be something that inspires and helps people.
So, all of you that follow me and know me through my words, this is my vow to you to be a better person and to be a positive voice and someone who will listen if you need me to, speak when you need me to and when I need to, and help you laugh, cry, smile, celebrate, and embrace everything life has to offer while helping myself do the same.
My Tar Heels beat #1 Michigan State tonight!! Huge win by a young group. So damn proud of those kids tonight.
I don’t care if it’s pretty…fuck snow. You know what I don’t have to do in June when it’s 75 degrees outside? Drive 45 on the interstate to make sure my life doesn’t end. Winter is stupid. I know I live in the Midwest and I should be used to it and deal with it, but I’m not here by choice at this point. If I could move, I would. I hate it.
I need to get over my shit. Sulking and feeling nothing but miserable is stupid. It’s fucking stupid and an awful way to waste my life. I spent the last few hours looking over old posts and it’s always the same thing with me. I’m single, boo hoo. My job sucks, waaaah. Everyone is better than me. Blech. The fact that I still have friends and followers is a miracle. I’m a fucking whiney puke. Yeah, my life isn’t what I want or what I thought it would be. Who’s is? I do this dance of complaining and brooding for two weeks, working hard on improving my life for a month, back to sulking, and so on and so forth. People keep telling me I need help. They’re not wrong. But really I feel like I just need something that points in an upward direction. Something that says there’s a point in me getting out of bed every day. A reason for my existence other than being a couple people’s temporary distraction from reality. I’m happy to be that, but it can’t be all I am. There has to be more to my life and relationships otherwise what’s the point?